So my oldest sister is getting married this week. We had her bachelorette party this past Saturday. i’ll recap the night.
It all started fun with games at one of the bridesmaids house. I had about 4 margaritas and two glasses of champagne when i was feeling kinda drunk and asked anyone else if they were. apparently i was the only one at this party drunk. AWESOME. well i think we know how this is going to end. we get into the cab to head to the bars. i decide its a good idea to ask the cab driver who might i add is ugly bald and rather old if he is single and about sex. my sisters and i somehow end up talking about orgasms where at this point in the conversation he gets really serious and actually turns off the radio so that he could really get out his opinion on this topic. super creepy he then gives us his personal cell phone, thank god we arrive at the bar not too soon later. We order drinks right away and we all get lemon drops and i get a extra beer. i attempt to drink some of my lemon drop, which i do not handle shots very well half the time, this being one of them. I walk really fast to the bathroom trying to make it not obvious that im about to hurl. i make in time to projectile vomit all over the toliet seat. i clean it up feeling much better and get out of the stall to find jaime, my sisters bridesmaid waiting to use a bathroom she asks me to watch over her purse and enters into my stall, i didnt have the balls to tell her i had just hurled all over the seat she was about to sit on. Once i leave the bathroom we head into the room where dragqueens do their show, note this is a gaybar. apparently you could get a kiss from one of the drags for a buck and i immediately jump to this and head up by the stage where for a buck the queen played with my boobs and then kissed me on the cheek. after that we head upstairs to the dance floor. i go up to get another beer there and clearly i am wasted at this point because i thought i could get away with not paying for the beer. i walk away from the bar as a guy follows me and tells me i didnt pay. embarassing. it is at this point that i turn into a psycho and start dancing with literally every gay guy in the room pretty much being an obnoxious harasser. my sister after a little bit of dancing decides to head out to another bar so we leave and head out where we wait outside for my sister to walk some girls out to the car. I have no memory of this but my other sister said i went up to some guy walking and starting dancing up to him and basically pushed him against the wall he was probably really annoyed with me. i then start to feel sick and sit down and then continue to force myself to throw up all over the sidewalk. Once i feel better we head into the other bar and i spot a hot guy i want to talk to almost right away. he looked like kendra wilkinsons husband. he buys me a drink and we talk pratically the whole time there,although i dont recall anything i said to him. the bar was about to close and one of the bridesmaids goes up to me and says we have ten minutes make a move. so i make the move to kiss him but since i was ectremely drunk prolly looked like some slob kabob throwing myself on him cuz he denied me saying he doesnt do the whole kissing girls in bar thing. that was embarrassing. the bar lights turn on and we leave my sisters fiance picks us up. they start talking about barf while were in the car and i tell them to stop but its too late he had to stop the car in the middle of the road so i could lean over my sister and puke out of the door. wow im so classy. we get home and i crash and wake up with the most worst hangover i have ever had and i have some really bad ones. This one lasted all day and i even threw up a fourth time in the morning. i can def say i have never puked so much for one night of drinking. i need to learn to pace myself and act like a normal human being in public places. i give anybody serious props if you managed to read this entire thing.